Things that suck: Killing somebody the next time

Seeing that the Prizblog is down & out while Ed "focuses on his occupation"...I thought I might update everyone on the Anthony Galluccio story. He got off, no charges. What a joke. From what I've heard, he was stumbling drunk when he got out of the car. Seriously, screw the Boston political scene, it's so friggin corrupt it's not even funny.

And this, from the Boston Herald:

Galluccio has been charged with the offense twice before, but received a governor’s pardon in 1993 for a 1984 offense.

I'm guessing his response to Governor Weld after hearing that he was successfully pardoned in 1993 was, "Thank you sir - it'll never happen again."

A tiger never changes his stripes.

Things that don't suck: You nincom-f__in-poop!

Please, trust me on this one. Watch this dude, all the way to the end. He gets so much more entertaining as time passes...

http://www.break.com/index/spiritoftruth.html

Things that don't suck: High-tech stealing

Nice article on the Red Sox brand new video archival system that they travel with...5 terabytes of data on this monster...it contains video taken from several angles, both from a batter and pitcher's perspectives...which they credit for a very important moment in Red Sox history:

"In the sixth inning of that game, Dave Roberts pulled up every at-bat he could find of [Yankees reliever] Mariano Rivera pitching with a runner on first base," Conley says. "He played that on a loop. He was trying to gain an edge. Then he went in as a pinch runner in the ninth inning, stole second base and scored, and we turned things around. Having that video was another tool in the shed."

My only problem here is...why did he wait until the 6th inning?! I called that stolen base the day he was traded here for Nomar! I wonder what else they're stealing...

Things that suck: Having your face rubbed in your tragedy

Imagine the following scenario:

You're a 9-year old kid from Boston named Tom Holmes. Love baseball. You've got 2 brothers and a sister, and a loving Mom & Dad. Dad's a detective for the BPD. You love your Dad. One day, you come home from school to find out that your Dad's been shot and killed in a jewelry store heist, leaving your family without its patriarch. Your life is forever changed; ruined.

11 years later, your oldest brother gets killed in a car accident. Your mother dies later that year. In 1991, your older brother gets stabbed to death and has his throat slashed on Valentine’s Day. Seven years later, at the young age of 44, you find out you need a heart transplant.

Then, in 2003, in a cruel twist of fate, the state fails you by letting one of your Dad's killers out of jail on a technicality. He walks free into the Fresh air of Post Office Square, a 5-minute walk from where he was partially responsible for the 6 bullets that ripped through your fathers body, leaving him dead in the street.

Yesterday, in what can accurately define the phrase "Adding insult to injury," the Boston Globe runs a piece in which they try to make that man, your father's killer, a sympathetic figure in an article about prison reform. What a slap in the face.

It's one thing to watch Shawshank Redemption, and feel good that Morgan Freeman escaped the horrible confines of the corrupt prison environment. After all, he feels absolute remorse for his actions. But it's fiction. It didn't erase a lifetime of happy memories for an entire family.

You can say that this particular family's series of unfortunate events is just that - bad luck. I think it was induced by one tragic event, and because of that, that the people responsible should never see the light of day again. It wasn't an accident.

So, to the Boston Globe, I say, shove this article up your ass, and don't let it see the light of day ever again, either.

A quote from today's Herald by Thomas R. Holmes, now 49:

"From the time it happened it destroyed our family,” he said. “He wasn’t supposed to get out. He was never supposed to get out of jail.”

Things that don't suck: The Onion's take on iTunes

The Onion has a great story on iTunes this week...

Read: iTunes To Sell You Your Home Videos For $1.99 Each

Things that suck: Going 0-for-13

Interesting piece on the 25th anniversary of the longest baseball game ever played - a 33-inning monster in Pawtucket that lasted over 8 hours...one guy watched his average drop about 30 points after going 0-for-13!

Things that suck: Not being accountable for your actions

Please, indulge me while I say a short prayer:

Please God, please give Tony Armas the cajones to throw a heater at Pedro Martinez's bean tonight. Noone deserves to get scared at the plate like Pedro. Don't hit him, just scare the crap out of him. He does it to everyone else!

Amen.

I think Pedro still thinks he's in the AL...hello, earth to Pedro...you have to BAT in this league...

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/preview?gameId=260412120

Update: Tony Armas is a pussy.

Things that suck: Not getting sarcasm

Newsflash! Wily Mo Pena is a dumbass. From Boston.com:

After today’s missed catch, Pena made back-to-back plays on fly balls to end the inning, prompting a mock cheer from the sellout crowd. Pena didn’t get the sarcasm.

“That was incredible,” he said. “It gave like more energy to me. They’re happy here, whatever you do.”

Um, Wily ...

Things that suck: Having to say, "My grandfather is Jock Semple."

In 1967, in an attempt to protest/raise awareness for women's rights, Katherine Switzer entered the Boston Marathon. Women weren't allowed to participate at the time. As she started the race, the race's unofficial Assistant Director, Jock Semple, tried to run up behind her and rip her number off in anger (photo to the right). Jock was met by another race participant, Thomas Miller, who threw a huge block on him, sending him to his ass on the side of the road (see sequence, below).

from Boston.com:

In 1967, Katherine Switzer, who registered as K.V. Switzer, was grabbed by race official Jock Semple (wearing dress shoes in photo), who attempted to tear off her number.

When women were first allowed to enter in 1972, eight ran. Last year, the total was 7,708.

Things that suck: RCN's helpdesk

So, for the past few months, RCN has been showing these unintentionally hysterical commercials, hosted by Jim O'Connor. Jim takes people through some "simple" steps to get the most out of your RCN broadband connection. Sounds good, right? This commercial is directly aimed at the over-50 crowd - you know, the ones that are calling them all the time, bugging them about technical issues, such as "I can't open the pictures my daughter sent me."

The first commercial they released talked about setting up email. He makes it sound very simple at first...then you realise after about 8 steps, you've stopped listening. He goes through about 15 steps in 30 seconds, all in rapid-fire format - the whole time having this cheery-sounding voice that seems to beckon, "See? See how easy this is? See?" Must I remind you, it's a 60-second commercial? I'm guessing someone over 50 isn't really going to get much value out of these complete wastes of time.

The best one, by far, is the one where Jim takes us through the steps of power cycling your modem. Man, all you people with Comcast, you have no idea what you're missing. If anyone out there knows what I'm talking about, please respond!

Things that suck: The MicMouse

New, from the makers of Bad Idea Jeans...The MicMouse! "Perfect" for those who use Skype, GoogleTalk - any econferencing software out there! That is, if you're an idiot.

Check out where they placed the microphone - dead center of the mouse! I'm guessing this invention didn't go through very many rounds of testing before being manufactured. Maybe the inventor just holds his mouse differently. Maybe he's got like, 3 fingers or something, or a hole in the middle of his hand...

All this can be yours, for $14.97.

Things that suck: It's not a tu--mah. Oh no wait yeah it is.

Swedish scientists have determined a definite link between cellphone radiation and brain tumors. First they said there was a link, then they disclaimed those findings....and now they're back to saying that the link is there, and its definite.

C|Net has compiled a list of cellphones and their accompanying Specific Absorption Rate (SAR) value. You can look up your phone in there, see if you need to start chemo tomorrow.

The easiest way to sidestep this issue is to use a Bluetooth handsfree unit. Of course, once the Swedes get around to testing Bluetooth and its affect on the brain, we'll probably all be dead of Bluetooth radiation poisoning. That's what's happening to the Blue Man Group. Very sad.

I say just go back to using pay phones. The only thing you'll catch off one of those is a bad cold, and unless you're like 90, you can recover from that pretty quickly.

Things that don't suck: Gone, Baby, Gone - the novel

Ben Affleck is scouting out locations in Boston for his directorial debut, a novel by local author Dennis Lehane called Gone, Baby, Gone. This is an incredible book. Please, do yourself a favor and read it before seeing the movie. It's one story from a 5-part series of books featuring two private investigators from Dorchester. Read them all. They are as follows, in order:

1. A Drink Before the War
2. Darkness, Take My Hand
3. Sacred
4. Gone, Baby, Gone
5. Prayers for Rain
   

These novels burn hotter and hotter as you go along - Lehane really hits his stride with Darkness, Take My Hand, but you need to read A Drink Before the War to really appreciate the inside dark humor. All of these novels, such as the case with any great novel, focus on character development first. Once you're hooked, you're in for a real thrill ride.

Lehane is the best crime author in the world right now. He penned Mystic River, the story that Clint Eastwood ruined by making it into a movie. If you liked Eastwood's Mystic River, you'll be stunned at how much better the book is. It's unrelated to this particular crime series, but it's one of the most complete psychological thrillers I've ever read. The ending is much, much more shocking (think, the ending of the movie Se7en).

Anyway, you can thank me later, once you've completed your summer reading.

Things that suck: Sharon Stone (literally)

There seems to be a disconnect in Sharon Stone's reality. First she visits Israel "on a mission to support peace and help children." Then, in the same interview cuts off a reporter who begins to ask about Basic Instinct 2, saying, "I'm naked (in the movie); usually that's what people really want to know, so we can move on to the next question."

So, why not add the final piece to the Sharon Stone loves children triumverate. This really makes it all seem complete now, doesn't it:

Actress SHARON STONE is adamant teenagers should be prepared to engage in oral sex, if it saves from them the dangers of unprotected penetrative sex. The BASIC INSTINCT spends much of her time away from Hollywood working as an activist raising AIDS awareness, and she always carries condoms with her to hand out in a bid to increase safe sex levels.

She explains, "I was in the store the other day and I watched a young girl trying on clothes, showing her abdomen. "Her mother was trying to talk to her about not being inappropriately luring. I said, 'Gee that would look much nicer with a camisole under.' "Her mother walked away, and I said to the girl, 'I'd like to give you a two-minute conversation about sex.' "Young people talk to me about what to do if they're being pressed for sex? I tell them (what I believe): oral sex is a hundred times safer than vaginal or anal sex. "If you're in a situation where you cannot get out of sex, offer a blow job. I'm not embarrassed to tell them."

Things that don't suck: Mark Sweeney

Mark Sweeney's presence in the SF Giants lineup this year will keep them in the hunt for the NL West title. If you don't believe me, you can ask ESPN Baseball analyst Jayson Stark - he thinks so, too. From the San Francisco Gate:

...The Angels picked him in the ninth round of the 1991 draft. The Dodgers actually drafted him the year before, but he returned for his senior season at the University of Maine, where he batted .384 and completed a business degree.

He was a year behind J.T. Snow in the Angels' system and admired the way Snow handled being yo-yoed between the big club and Triple-A. In 1995, Sweeney was dealt to St. Louis, where he made his big-league debut, and he has been a classic journeyman since, with stops in San Diego, Cincinnati, Milwaukee, San Diego again, Colorado and San Diego for a third time.

Yes, he often is confused with Kansas City Royals first baseman Mike Sweeney and said, "I first met him in a spring training game. He was catching with the Royals. I stepped up to the plate and I said, 'Nice to meet you, and I'm tired of getting your mail.' He started laughing."

The Giants plucked Mark Sweeney off the free-agent market in December, signing him to a two-year, $1.8 million contract that ESPN baseball analyst Jayson Stark called one of the three best signings for under $2 million this offseason.

"Thank God I didn't see that," Sweeney joked. "That's really meaningless to me. I just want to come in here and help in my own way for a lot of different reasons. Obviously, my job is to come off the bench later in the games to make us a better ballclub. With guys like (Jose) Vizcaino here and some of the guys we have off the bench, that's going to be one of our strengths."

Things that don't suck: 41-hour sociology experiments

This kid spent his spring break at Wal-Mart. Unlike the stores around here, the Wal-Marts in the midwest are superstores - they have pharmacies, grocery/produce, restaurants, hair salons....you name it. He spent 41 straight hours in one, going undetected. Just blended in with the surroundings. Didn't steal anything, just paid as he went.

Now, the reason I say that this does not suck is simple: this kid, if he's smart, will milk this into a cool million. Write a book, do some TV interviews. Yes, it sucks, he didn't go on Spring Break, but hey - he's only a sophomore, and he can always go next year. And by this time next year, he'll be able to buy a 27' Laveycraft to take out on Lake Havasu.

Things that suck: Getting caught

Things that suck: Forgetting to take your happy pills in the morning

I think Eric Wilbur forgot to take his Zoloft this morning. He wrote a real Debbie Downer article in today's Globe. Here's how he ends it:

Wily Mo Pena is indeed a long-term project. But he’s also one that is going to be so maddeningly frustrating to watch develop that Red Sox Nation is likely going to label him a bust long before he gets the chance to achieve any level of greatness.

Key the music - "Wah-wah-waaaaaaaaah..."

Things that suck: Having a mistaken identity

Funny quote by my favorite all-time Red Sox, David Ortiz - from the Globe:

He did come home with one tale to tell. At the team hotel in San Diego, he answered a knock at his door to find Fidel Castro's son, the Cuban team's physician.

''I was nervous," Ortiz said with a laugh. ''He told me, 'Whenever you come to Cuba, I'll take care of you.' [I thought], 'OK, they might confuse me as a Cuban and keep me there.' He came with my agent to say hi and take pictures. I gave a whole bunch of shoes to them."

Things that suck: Having to work through your lunch break

Reuters is reporting that the NCAA Tournament site in San Diego has been evacuated. A bomb-sniffing dog stopped after finding a potential hit.

In a hot dog cart.

Imagine that, a dog not concentrating on his job while standing next to a hot dog cart filled with piping-hot hot dogs & sausages...