Things that suck: Being a Jets fan

So, I'm in my glory today, around 3:30pm - the Dolphins are beating the shit out of the Patsies, my Jets are coming up at 4:15pm versus the Bills - playoff chances on the line, if they win, they're only a game out of first...and then it happens.

Actually, "it" happened the day I became a Jets fan. For some reason, I'm always optimistic, like this is some stupid effing prank some is playing on me - it's not like the Red Sox, there's no fate involved, there's no losing with any purpose. Okay guys, I get it, joke's on me! You can come out now!

Final score: Bills 31 - Jets 13. The Jets knew the ramifications...and still lost to JP Losman. At home.

I root for the biggest losers on the planet. Our pride and joy, Joe Namath, a ballsy QB with so much swagger in his day that he scored chicks while in a mink coat gets on ESPN, shitfaced, and professes his beergoggled love for Suzy Kolber during an interview. Joe, just to remind you, this is Suzy Kolber:

...and yes, you are the king of our kingdom. A kingdom of losers.

But I can't drop them. It seems like every year, they have that game in which they've once again instilled a shred of dignity, which gets confused by the fan base as confidence...it's reminiscent of my beloved Hartford Whalers. But at least the Whalers had their own theme song (Brass Bononza), that played after every goal. The Jets don't even play in their own stadium.

Hey, wait a minute - we do have something unique: we have Fireman Ed! Wait til next year!