Things that suck: Being a Thurmond

This week, the Rev. Al Sharpton was contacted by geneaologists and told that he was the descendant of a slave owned by the family of Strom Thurmond. He was obviously taken by surprise by this news.

Some of Thurmond's relatives said the connection also came as a surprise to them. A niece, Ellen Senter, said she would speak with Sharpton if he were interested.

"I doubt you can find many native South Carolinians today whose family, if you traced them back far enough, didn't own slaves," said Senter, 61, of Columbia, S.C. She added: "And it is wonderful that (Sharpton) was able to become what he is in spite of what his forefather was."

Correction: what YOUR forefather was. You racist.

Things that don't suck: Being Green-er

D.J. shut down Magic in '84, hit a game-winning jumper in '85, and sank a layup in '86. Larry Bird once called him "the best I've ever played with."

"I'm a winner," he once said. "I put my heart into the game. I hate to lose. I accept it when it comes, but I still hate it. That's the way I am."

I remember playing hoops on the playground in the 7th grade - while the other guys were yelling out, "Mag-ic!" or "Bird!" and throwing a behind the back pass or shooting a fadeaway jumper, I was the one yelling "D.J.!" and driving the lane. I would miss about 80% of the time, but that's not the point. Dennis Johnson was and always will be one of my all-time favorite players. Boston would never have hung their banners in '84 and '86 without him and his tenacious overall play. RIP #3.

Things that don't suck: Being Green

For the first time in years, I'm excited about the NBA Slam Dunk contest. The panel of judges are all-time great dunkers: Michael Jordan, Dr. J, Dominique Wilkins, Vince Carter...there's a good 15 minutes of sick clips for you...

After last year's fiasco, the NBA needs someone to really promote. Enter Gerald Green. I don't care what Kermit the Frog says - it's easy being Green when your vertical is 46". This kid is going to wow the crowd Saturday, and it's going to be fun to watch.

Gerald should come out next year wearing #17 - as in, Green 17.

Seriously, I'm starting to get really excited for next year. We need to keep losing. We need that #1 pick. We're either getting Greg Oden or Kevin Durant - maybe both if we trade Jefferson or Pierce. Oden, combined with a 20-year old Gerald Green, is a scary proposition for the other teams in the league. You heard it here first. Might not win one next year. But it's coming. We're positioned for a huge breakthrough. The dynasty will return!

Things that don't suck: Samuel Adams

Samuel Adams announced today that in 3 weeks, a new beer glass will become available to the general public via the samueladams.com store. 4 glasses for $30. Samuel Adams claims to have spared no expense on R&D for the new glass design - it's considered "a full-sensory experience" for beer enthusiasts.

As you can see, the glass features a keg-like belly, and a big mouth, just like me.

Even though I think it's pretty cool, I think I'll pass - it looks delicious, but with such a wide opening at the top, you're going to inevitably end up with beer froth on the nose after your second or third sip. Beer belongs in zee mouth.

Either way, Samuel Adams is a pretty cool company in my book - they're really passionate about what they do, and taking the time to care about the little things is what makes customers happy. They get it. I really like that about them.

Things that suck: StubHub

So, I just received an email from the Boston Red Sox - it informed me that unfortunately, I hadn't been selected to receive an opportunity to purchase tickets to Opening Day, Patriots Day, or any of the Yankees games for the upcoming 2007 season.

The biggest reason why I'm not able to attempt to go to a game this year? StubHub. StubHub is an online ticket broker. They're one of Inc. Magazine's Top 10 growing businesses. And they're scalpers. Why doesn't the federal government intervene? I mean, at least uphold existing laws that say that you can't profit more than 10% on tickets you have purchased for yourself!

It's gotten so bad that StubHub is selling Monster Seat tickets for $2300 - that's a 2000% increase - that's not a misprint - and they're not even on sale yet: http://www.stubhub.com/boston-red-sox-tickets/?ticket_id=81677572

StubHub must be stopped. The government needs to intervene and figure out a way to fairly distribute tickets to fans. Screw the steroids scandal at this point - this is worse.

UPDATE: Read the comments section for a rather large "clarification"

Things that don't suck: Calling in sick

Cough! Cough!

Paul Pierce is calling in sick today...and something tells me that he might have to go on short-term disability in the very near future. If the Celtics ever want to win an NBA Championship with Paul Pierce, they're going to have to secure a #1 overall pick, then trade it for a veteran stud.

Personally, I like Paul Pierce. I think he's exemplified what it means to be a Boston Celtic, and he genuinely likes playing here. Earlier this season, I said to trade him, sell high. Lose some games, get Oden at #1 overall by trading Pierce for even more ping pong balls.

Now? I've changed my tune. I say we let Paul ride the pine for the rest of the year, recouperate to 100%, then make some major moves with that #1 overall pick. Green 17, here we come.