You know you're a complete loser when...You write a book about your life in which you say your brother likes to fondle children, and that his kids are the result of an anonymous sperm donor. Then you realize that you live in a house that he owns, and have second thoughts. You think to yourself, "Hey, maybe he'll have a problem with me saying this." But you're too late. He throws a hissy-fit, threatening publicly to kick your ass.
And if that isn't bad enough...your brother is Michael Jackson.
That's right, your child-molesting, 90-pound, melted cheese-faced younger brother scares you. You decide to opt out of writing a book that noone would ever read anyway because you are afraid of losing everything...which isn't much because you were an uninteresting loser to begin with.
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