Things that suck: Creepy, nosy neighbors

So, I came home from work the other night, to find the following note scrawled on a tiny piece of ripped paper stuck to my mailbox:

I can see you on your back porch. I live behind you. It is about to collapse, and you are in great danger.

Sue

Now, while I appreciate the sentiment, it's also really creepy. In a Hardy Boys sort of way. You think Sue could have just said,

Hey there, I live in the building behind yours, and the other day noticed that your back porch is sloping downwards on one side - might want to have someone take a look at it, as it looks like it could collapse.

Sue Gallagher

But nooo...not in my life. I've got to be the one with the freaks living next door to me. The baby's nursery is also on that side of the house - I imagine I'm going to receive a note from Sue some random day that says,

Your baby has diaper rash because you are a bad parent. You must wipe in the opposite direction to prevent this. I am watching you.

Sue

Of course, the porch is being replaced, due to her efforts. We never use it, so it doesn't really matter to us anyway. But maybe we should invite her over some night to give us some more creepy pointers. Like:

If you do not add more breadcrumbs, your meatloaf will always fall apart. Your friends hate your meatloaf because of this. I am listening.

Sue

or...

After you shower, you never close the shower curtain. Shower curtains trap mold. I am here.

Sue

On second thought, maybe we should just pull the shades.